The science of love

Ask a Doctor to define love, and the expectation might be a garble of scientific terms.

But President of the Australian Psychological Society Dr Bob Montgomery says it simply: “Love means something different to everybody.”

It is said that love increases the levels of certain chemicals in the brain like Dopamine and Adrenalin.

But Dr Montgomery dismisses this as “pseudo-scientific gobbledygook”, the kind of fodder reserved for “women’s magazines or misleading advertisements.”

He says love can be divided into two separate types: passionate and compassionate. The former is generally in the first stages of a relationship and lasts somewhere between six and 18 months. It involves intense psychological feelings and strong sexual desire. The latter involves friendly affection and a deeper attachment, tolerance of the other person’s shortcomings and a more meaningful sexuality. According to Dr Montgomery, this can last forever, as long as it is nurtured.

However, who we fall for still remains a mystery.

According to Dr Helen Fisher, researcher at Rutgers University and prolific author, people are drawn to those from similar backgrounds, with the same level of intelligence and good looks. While many meet these same requirements, romantic bonds are few.

This can be explained if the population is broken down into four personality types: The Builder, The Explorer, The Negotiator and The Director. The Builders, for example, live in the suburbs and want grass and neighborhoods, while The Explorers want the stimulation of a large city.

Certain combinations are far more common, but Dr Fisher says they can all work, “…as long as the partners continue to respect each other.”

An integral part of attraction is sexuality, and not only feeling comfortable with one’s partner but also with oneself. According to Dr Montgomery, sexual intimacy does not always come naturally to couples. He says that although this can cause problems, it does not mean they are not in love.

Dr Fisher says that sex drive evolved in humans primarily to motivate individuals to find a suitable partner for reproduction. A healthy, loving relationship between parents generally provides a good developmental environment for children.

Do humans then love out of need or want? According to Dr Montgomery, it’s both.

“Humans love because they can… it is good for them.”

For all the stress caused by those “he loves me, he loves me not” qualms, the benefits of love still far outweigh any cons. Recent Australian Beaureau of Statistics data show that those in intimate relationships live longer than those who are not. Love can be one of the strongest drives on Earth, and according to Dr Fisher, it seems to be more powerful than hunger.

Losing a loved one or ending a relationship have negative health implications. Timing, busy schedules and financial woes put pressure on relationships. The misery caused by such problems can lead to physical health problems.

A 2004 study by the Medical Research Council in Glasgow found that those going through a rough patch in a relationship are more likely to catch a cold or the flu.

Studies have given some life to the old adage that it’s possible to die from a broken heart. A recent study conducted at Sydney’s Royal North Shore Hospital found that people mourning the death of a loved one had higher blood pressure, increased heart rates and changes to their immune system, all of which can cause heart attacks.

While there may be some risk in jumping on the bandwagon of love, in the end, the old adage rings true: It is still better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

Eden Baker